Nobody Plans to Drift

That pattern has almost nothing to do with discipline. The people it happens to are working hard, often harder than is good for them. What is missing is a decision made at the start, which means the month arrives with nothing to protect, and whatever turns up fills it.

A month with no decision in it belongs to everybody else

This came up repeatedly in a recent Round Table of ours, where we had set out to talk about having too many goals and spent almost the whole session talking about other people’s requests instead. Every yes is a quiet no to something, and because your own goals have no deadline attached and nobody chasing them, they are the ones that quietly give way.

Deciding what November is for does not make you immune to any of that. What it does is give you something specific to weigh a request against, which is considerably easier than defending time you have not yet allocated to anything.

Vague goals produce vague weeks

“Get on top of my marketing” is the kind of goal that survives an entire month without ever being started, because there is no first action attached to it and no moment at which it is obviously not happening. You can carry it from week to week feeling vaguely guilty and never once be forced to confront it.

“Write and send four emails to my list by the 28th” behaves completely differently. You know on the 7th whether you are behind. You know what Monday morning looks like. And when somebody asks for an hour of your time on the 20th, you have something concrete to put in the balance.

We watch this shift happen in our workshops almost every time. People arrive with an intention and leave with a goal, and the difference between the two is usually four or five words.

Knowing why it matters is what gets you through week three

Enthusiasm covers the first week of anything. Week three is where goals go to die, and it is also where the real reason you wanted the thing becomes the only thing still working.

Most people’s first answer to why a goal matters is the surface one, the one that would sound sensible to a colleague. Underneath it there is usually something more honest and much more durable, about wanting to stop feeling a particular way, or wanting to prove something, or wanting a specific Tuesday evening to look different from how it looks now. That second answer is worth digging for, because it is the one that still has force in it when you are tired.

A month is a useful unit

Twelve-month goals are demotivating in a way nobody likes to admit, because nothing you do today visibly moves them. You can work solidly for a fortnight and see no change at all, which is a quick route to deciding the whole thing was unrealistic.

A month is short enough that you can see the end of it from where you are standing, and long enough that something real can happen inside it. Breaking a bigger goal into monthly milestones gives you visible evidence of movement, and that evidence turns out to matter more than motivation does.

This was the idea people responded to most strongly in our last goal setting sessions, and it came up almost by accident, which is usually a sign that something is true.

Say it to somebody

The last piece is the one that is hardest to do on your own, for obvious reasons.

There is a noticeable difference between writing a goal in a notebook and explaining it out loud to another person who is paying attention. Saying it aloud forces a clarity that private thinking lets you avoid, and the other person will ask the obvious question you have been carefully stepping around, usually within the first two minutes and with no idea they have done anything clever.

Several people in our last workshops rewrote their goal on the spot after a five-minute conversation in a breakout room. Not because anybody told them to, but because hearing themselves describe it made the gap obvious.

What to do about November

You have about a fortnight before it starts, which is enough time to decide what it is for.

If you want to do that properly, with other people in the room, we are running a free workshop this Sunday. You bring one thing you want from November, and over ninety minutes you work it into a goal specific enough to act on, get clear on why it genuinely matters to you, and break it into milestones so you leave knowing what happens first.

It is a working session. Short exercises, time to think, and small breakout rooms where you explain your goal to somebody else and hear how they see it. Bring whatever matters to you, whether that is your business, your career, your health, a relationship, a personal project or simply getting yourself back on track. You do not need to turn up with it already worked out.

Sunday 25 October, 7:00pm UK and 3:00pm Eastern. Ninety minutes, free, and everyone takes part. Save your spot here.